


Loose Ends

by Regan_V



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-02
Updated: 2012-11-02
Packaged: 2017-11-17 13:59:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,130
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/552311
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Regan_V/pseuds/Regan_V
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lockhart's forgotten it all, of course, but Snape remembers it for them both.  And there are a few loose ends he needs to wrap up.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Loose Ends

**Author's Note:**

> This was originally written for Elanor Isolda, as part of the 2007 Merry Smutmas exchange. My thanks to Scheming Reader and Florahart, who were terrific betas.

**Dec. 25, 1996**

 

Weak sunlight slanted in through the ward's windows, leaving the room dim and colorless. The day outside was grey as well, drawing towards an early mid-winter twilight even though it hadn't yet gone four in the afternoon. 

Half the beds here were empty. On the other side of the room, a bald patient stared sightlessly at the ceiling, murmuring to himself. Severus couldn't make out a word. The chrysanthemums in the vase on the bald man's bedside table were badly wilted.

The man lying in the bed in front of Severus stirred restlessly and then rolled over on to one side. His blond hair was greasy, sprinkled with the beginnings of grey. Probably the staff couldn't be bothered to wash it very often. A pity. Gilderoy had always been so vain about his hair. Severus reached out to touch it, but then thought better and drew his hand back again. He wasn't yet sure whether he wanted Gilderoy to wake up or not.

The ward sister bustled back from the bed near the door, where she'd cast an _Evanesco_ charm on the mess left when one patient had overturned the bottles on the table next to his bed. 

"That's nice of you to drop by on Christmas Day, Professor," she said. Her voice and manner conveyed both approval and curiosity. "Mr. Lockhart hardly gets any visitors, and I'm sure it's kind of you to remember an old colleague."

Well, _one_ of them ought to remember, Severus thought. He snorted to himself. The sister drew herself up a bit straighter.

"Not that he'll remember you were here, of course." 

"Oh, I think he might," Severus murmured. Surprised, the sister gave him a sharp look and shook her head. Severus didn't feel like arguing the point, however, and simply waited until she'd left again.

******************************

Gilderoy looked up from where he knelt between Severus' legs and smiled. Severus almost grabbed him by both ears, in order to force that warm, wet mouth back down over his cock again.

"Don't stop **_now_** ," he snarled. Christ, Gilderoy could be a bloody tease. 

At least he didn't remove his hand from where it circled the base of Severus' cock, stroking slowly up and down. Severus wriggled back a bit, trying to force the hand up over the head of his cock.

"Now, now. You need to learn some self-control here." The tone made Severus want to slap Gilderoy. He'd been **_that_** close. "I had in mind that you might want to come inside me."

Oh. Severus wasn't going to turn that down. Maybe he could make it good enough so that Gilderoy would bottom more often. He pulled Gilderoy up on to the bed, twisting to pull down the dingy beige and black bedspread so that he could push him on to his back. 

"Have you got something _good_ to use for lube this time?" 

He still hadn't forgotten the last time, Severus knew. "Yes, I nicked some ridiculously expensive salve from the shop last week." Mr. Ogden was drunk half the time, and never did take a proper inventory. Gilderoy was sure to approve of something _expensive_.

Gilderoy smiled up at him, and Severus acknowledged to himself yet again that he shouldn't be able to pull someone this good-looking. Gilderoy's eyes didn't even need the periwinkle robes to be a deep blue. His hair, spread across the black pillowcase, looked like gold silk. Without meaning to, Severus smiled back.

"I think I can make this worth your while," he said, reaching for the jar he'd left in the bedside drawer. 

He didn't have to work tomorrow, after all, since the shop was closed on Sundays. He'd try that charm he'd read about last week, the one that would make it last a good long time. Longer than the last time Gilderoy had let him top. Severus decided that he was going to make Gilderoy beg for it, and then fuck him through the mattress.

*******************

Fifteen brooms rose high into the air above where Severus sat in the Slytherin section of the stands. The weather was perfect for Quidditch. He leaned back and squinted, trying to track Regulus' broom while listening to Gilderoy, who was doing the commentary for today's match.

"And the Quaffle is taken by Slytherin---that's Chaser Griselda Yaxley and she's closing in on---no, stopped by a Bludger _straight_ to the chest from Gryffindor Beater Sirius Black. No doubt he'll be hearing more about that later . . . " 

McGonagall shot Gilderoy a look, and he quickly changed the subject. "The Quaffle is taken by Gryffindor Chaser Frank Longbottom and they're off again. Wait, he's hit in the back of the head by a second Bludger sent his way by Slytherin Beater Mulciber. That had to hurt. No sign of the Snitch yet. Longbottom drops the Quaffle and it's scooped up by Mallory Tugwood, who's closing in on the Gryffindor goalposts—come on, Mallory. Keeper McCormack dives to one side but misses, and SLYTHERIN SCORES! Oh, _well_ done!"

Gilderoy's usually somewhat plummy voice rose and became almost screechy with excitement.

"LOCKHART!" Prof. McGonagall didn't tolerate much bias on the part of the announcer, Severus reflected. Well, not open bias against Gryffindor, at least. 

"Sorry, Professor." Gilderoy didn't sound too remorseful. "Wait, is that the Snitch?" Distracted, McGonagall stopped glaring at Gilderoy and looked up. 

"No, false alarm. Still, Gryffindor Chaser James Potter has the Quaffle now, and dodges past Mulciber to close in on the Slytherin goal posts . . . "

It was still a bit chilly for May, and Severus pulled his thin cloak around himself more snugly and let Gilderoy's voice wash over him while he watched Regulus and Mulciber circle, far above. Out of the corner of one eye, he saw a redhead sitting among the Gryffindors on the other side of the pitch, but he refused to look more closely, however. He forced himself to keep his eyes trained on the brooms, dipping and weaving in the air over the pitch.

Mulciber was born to be a Beater; he smashed a Bludger that hit Potter hard on his left ear. Severus smiled as Potter's glasses flew off his face, falling 50 feet to the ground before shattering into dozens of small pieces. When something was that badly smashed, even _Reparo_ wouldn't help much. 

Handicapped by the fact that one Chaser now couldn't see past his nose, the Gryffindor team struggled on. Mulciber and Macnair flanked Potter for a while, raining Bludgers down on him until Sirius Black flew between them, drawing away their fire for a bit. Thirty minutes later, Avery caught the Snitch. A good thing, too, since the sky had clouded over now and it was beginning to drizzle.

The mood in the Slytherin common room was jubilant afterwards, of course. You'd think Slytherin had never won a game before, Severus thought as he headed for the side door that led to the sixth years' rooms. He passed Lockhart, holding court with a group of first- and second-years gathered in front of him where he sat on the sofa.

"Well, doing the announcer's job _properly_ requires that you have a keen eye and a ready tongue, of course." Severus thought about how _ready_ Gilderoy's tongue usually was, and suppressed a snicker. "Professor McGonagall _begged_ me to do it for one more year. I was happy to do so, although it's been a bit hectic what with revising for my N.E.W.T.s, as well. She'll be sorry to have to replace me next autumn, I dare say." Gilderoy caught Severus' eye as he turned to duck through the doorway, and inclined his head slightly. Severus gave a slight nod, and went down the corridor to his room.

When Gilderoy sauntered in ten minutes later, Severus locked the door and cast a quick Imperturbable. They hadn't been doing . . . whatever this was for very long, but Severus had already learned that Gilderoy could be quite loud. He put his wand down and pulled Gilderoy towards him, who responded by pushing him back into one corner.

Gilderoy's ego was enormous, but his hands were deft and skilled. Severus arched against the wall panting, his trousers down around his knees as Gilderoy stroked Severus' cock slowly, giving a slight twist and rubbing his palm across the cock's head at the top of each stroke. Too slowly---Severus thrust up against him and swore, but Gilderoy only laughed gently, and sped up his strokes very slightly. The skin on his hands felt so smooth . . . did he use some sort of special hand cream? Severus shook his head to get rid of the stray thought, and reached up to pull Gilderoy down against him. He bent his face down, pressing it against Gilderoy's shoulder and shuddered as he came hard, silently, spurting all over Gilderoy's hand and lavender robes.

Gilderoy held him for a few moments until his breathing had slowed, and then stepped back. His aquiline nose wrinkled as he looked down at his robes, and he pulled out his wand to cast a quick cleaning charm before looking up to meet Severus' eyes.

"I wouldn't want them stained, you know. They're quite new." Severus felt so relaxed that he couldn't be bothered by the comment. Who the hell cared if Gilderoy wore even rainbow-colored robes, when he could make Severus come like that? Severus smiled lazily, and reached up to touch Gilderoy's hair.

"Your hair is such a nice shade. And it's natural, too." Gilderoy's head was fairly empty, Severus thought. But his hair and eyes were lovely.

"Of _course_ it's natural. What did you think? Anyway, I wouldn't risk using a Potion to try to change the color." Gilderoy would be well-advised not to, Severus thought. He was wretched at Potions. Why else would he have come to a younger pupil for tutoring? 

He pulled up and fastened his own trousers before tugging Gilderoy over to his own bed, and pushed him down to sit on the edge. His lavender robes ruched up to expose his trousers, his cock dark red against the lavender. Gilderoy moaned loudly as Severus stroked him slowly, holding back enough to prevent him from coming. Only when Gilderoy whined and begged _faster, damn it_ did Severus finally take pity and speed up enough so that Gilderoy came, too. Shooting all over the lavender robes.

Let him cast an _Evanesco_ later. If he noticed, before it dried.

Satisfied, Gilderoy fell back against the pillow and stared up at the ceiling. Sitting next to him, Severus looked down at his face, and felt like smiling.

"Good turnout for the game today," Gilderoy commented.

"Mmmmm." Severus reached up to stroke the blond locks lying across his pillow.

"I saw Evans sitting in the stands." 

Severus stiffened, and pulled back his hand. "Did you?" He strove to make his tone one of chilly indifference.

"Yes." Gilderoy chuckled. "She didn't half look happy when Mulciber knocked Potter's glasses off his face and smashed them."

"I'm sure I didn't see that." He didn't want anyone to think he'd been paying attention. Not that Gilderoy seemed to notice.

Gilderoy rolled his head on the pillow so that he could look Severus in the eyes. Severus turned slightly to look down at the floor.

"I heard they're together now, Evans and Potter." 

"What makes you think I'd care?" 

Gilderoy smiled slightly. "If you say so. Anyway, if she's fool enough to fall for Potter, well . . . she's not as clever as she thinks she is, I'd say."

She'd come around, someday. Severus knew she would. But in the meantime, he wasn't going to have anyone think he was pining for her. 

"I can't keep track of who's shagging who in Gryffindor," he said casually. "Let them all go at it like rabbits." 

Gilderoy was still watching his face, and Severus tried to keep his expression calm.

"If you say so," he finally answered. "I thought you might have fancied her, at one point. And you're both good at Potions, I thought." He did up his trousers and pulled himself into a sitting position. "Anyway, if you were with her, you wouldn't be here with _me_ , so I suppose it all works out for the best, in the end. "

Severus didn't have an answer for that. Gilderoy stood up and shook out his robes. He wrinkled his nose and took out his wand again to clean the lavender silk and said "See you upstairs, then," before slipping out the door.

Severus stared at the closed door for a while, before getting up to go to dinner.

***************************

Downstairs, someone knocked softly at the door. Severus moved over to stand on one side of the window, so he could peer down through a crack in the curtains. Judging by the height, the hooded figure standing on the steps could have been Nott or Macnair, which meant he'd better get down to answer the door before the elderly witch who lived in the second floor flat beat him to it.

He opened the front door just a crack, and checked. The hood had slipped back a bit, and the streetlight picked out blond curls. "Come in," he said, moving back a step. Gilderoy glanced down the street to his left and then slipped through the door, pulling it shut behind him. Severus turned to walk up the stairs, Gilderoy following without a word.

Once inside Severus' flat, Gilderoy cast a critical glance around himself. "You need to build up a better fire in here," he observed. "It's almost December, you know. Doesn't old Ogden pay you enough to buy some coal?"

Ogden had finally closed up his shop three weeks before: as it turned out, he'd preferred spend his money on whiskey rather than the potions ingredients needed to keep the shop's inventory up. Even Severus couldn't transfigure dragon spleen out of nothing. He'd been looking for another position since then, but jobs were hard to come by. 

"Keep your cloak on, then," Severus responded coolly, even as he turned to wave two more candles alight. He knew they'd be warm enough once things go under way, but he liked to see Gilderoy clearly. Severus pushed him backwards a bit, to sit on the edge of the bed. "Would you like some tea?"

Gilderoy hesitated. "Actually, I can't stay that long. I've got a dinner this evening with Basil Hornby, an editor at Whizz Hard Books. They're offering me a contract for my book."

Severus eyed him. "The one you said you were working on, about the banshees?"

"That's right," Gilderoy said confidently. "You remember when I was away in June? I thought there might be people who'd like to read about how I blasted that banshee." He leaned back and spread his legs, obviously intent on moving things along.

"I didn't even know that you knew the Confrigo curse," Severus murmured. One corner of his mouth twitched but he responded to Gilderoy's impatience, sinking to kneel between Gilderoy's legs. He pushed the turquoise cloak open to reveal Gilderoy's silver silk trousers, and cupped his cock through the fabric, pressing a bit with the heel of his hand. Gilderoy was already half-hard. Severus unfastened the trousers quickly and reached inside.

When he ran his tongue down one side of the dark red cock, Gilderoy moaned above him, and Severus groped for his wand with one hand, to cast an Imperturbable. There was no need to entertain the old harridan who lived downstairs.

This was the first time Gilderoy had stopped by in almost a month, and Severus decided he'd make it good. Gilderoy should remember this. Still, it wasn't entirely up to him, and he wasn't able to make it last as long as he'd have liked. He bobbed his head up and down slowly, but Gilderoy groaned loudly and flooded his mouth all too soon. Severus swallowed and sat back on his heels, wiping his mouth with the back of one hand.

Gilderoy lay back on the bed, staring up at the ceiling for a minute or two, and then sat up again. He stretched a hand out, to pull Severus up to the bed. "Come on now, then," he said, sounding both fond and a bit impatient at the same time. 

Gilderoy stretched out on one side next to Severus, and fumbled his trousers open with one hand. Severus' cock sprang out as soon as Gilderoy pulled his pants down a bit, and Gilderoy wrapped his hand around it confidently. "There you go," he said, moving up and down with swift, sure strokes. Severus arched his back appreciatively, and then made himself relax against the pillows. He was going to enjoy this and stretch it out as long as possible. Gilderoy palmed the head of his cock at the top of each stroke, just as he liked it, and Severus heard himself groan softly. 

He made Gilderoy work for it, but finally came hard, splattering his own shirt. Suddenly, he felt warm all over; the fact that the fire was burning low no longer mattered. Boneless, he melted into the mattress. 

Beside him, Gilderoy stirred. Severus opened one eye. "Would you like to come back here, after your dinner?" he offered. He wasn't sure where the impulse had come from. But he'd be up for a longer session, later on. He'd even put more wood on the fire and warm the place up before Gilderoy returned, and then strip him naked, to lie on the soft, worn bedsheets.

"No, 'fraid I can't." Gilderoy didn't sound that regretful, though. "I'm not sure how long this dinner will go, and it's really important to me. They might even want me to do a book tour. Publicity."

"You wouldn't be starting your tour this evening," Severus protested, but he wasn't going to press the matter. 

"No, I can't tonight, I'm afraid. And I'm sure you have plans of your own." Gilderoy paused, and seemed to hesitate before continuing. "You . . . do see other people sometimes, don't you?" He looked a bit concerned. It was really none of his business.

"Of course I do." Macnair, and Mulciber, and whoever else showed up at the meetings, for starters. 

Gilderoy stood and buttoned up his trousers. "You need to, well . . . . you have very good taste, I'll grant you that. Back in school . . . Evans is quite a good-looking girl, and then there's me. But you might want to get out more, Severus." 

Severus just stared at him. "I do well enough on my own. What's it to you?"

Gilderoy shrugged, but didn't pursue the subject further. "As you like. Don't work too hard over those potions, eh?" He adjusted his cloak again, and went over to check his hair in the little mirror Severus had hanging in the corner, over his dresser.

"I won't." 

Gilderoy smiled at himself in the mirror, and turned back to face Severus.

"I'll let myself out then, shall I?" 

"All right. Do you want to come to tea on Saturday?"

"I'm not sure what I've got planned. I'll let you know." 

"Fine." Severus lay back on the bed again and listened to the door shut behind Gilderoy. He thought of the meal that Gilderoy would be treated to in Diagon, and wondered what he should make for his own dinner. There were four tins of beans in the kitchen cupboard, along with small bags of onions, potatoes, and rice. And most of a loaf of rye bread. And some tins of tomatoes. There was still some cheese, too. He'd need to make all that last until the end of the week. 

Perhaps he should try looking for work in Hogsmeade.

*************************

Crossing the staff room to warm his hands in front of the fire burning merrily in the grate, Severus cast a sideways glace at Gilderoy. Gilderoy's head was bent over his cup of tea.

Severus wondered whether Gilderoy would choose to sulk over his showing in the first meeting of his ludicrous "dueling club," or whether he'd simply refuse to admit what a poor figure he'd cut. Probably the latter. If only one of the other staff would come in, they could engage Gilderoy and break the silence but Severus wasn't inclined to start any conversation, himself. He sank into one of the armchairs in front of the fire and leaned back, closing his eyes. 

Gilderoy slurped his tea for a few minutes and then cleared his throat. "So, you've got a second-year who can cast _Serpensortia_ , Severus. Did you know young Malfoy could do that?"

"No, but it doesn't surprise me," Severus responded without opening his eyes. "You'll remember it was one of Lucius' favorites."

Gilderoy made a noise indicating agreement, and got up to get something to eat off the sideboard. Severus opened his eyes just enough to watch Gilderoy through his lashes as he cut himself a hefty slab of chocolate cake. Gilderoy had thickened a bit since his early twenties, Severus thought. There was a suggestion of a double chin there now. But his hair still glinted gold, falling down his back and his face was unlined. 

Gilderoy brought his plate and tea over to sit in the armchair opposite Severus. "So, could you help me give another lesson next Tuesday afternoon again? You're free then, I think."

"Let me check to see what sort of list Poppy's made up for me to brew first." Let him work for it. Severus had no particular desire to help run a student club. On the other hand, it might give him the opportunity to use more hexes on Gilderoy. He visualized how Gilderoy would look if he cast _Levicorpus_ , dangling arse over head above a group of gaping students. 

Gilderoy leaned forward. "You could come to tea in my quarters this weekend, and we could plan out a list of hexes to go over with them, I thought."

Severus opened his eyes and stared into Gilderoy's. "What? No dates with an adoring public, this weekend? I'm surprised, Gilderoy."

Gilderoy tutted impatiently. "I gave a book signing at every shop there is before term started, and I can hardly go off and do, um, research for another during term, can I?"

Severus _hmmmed_ in a way that could be taken for agreement, and Gilderoy continued. "And it's damned dull around here in the evenings. I'm not sure how you keep yourself entertained, Severus. We could help each other out, you know."

Like they'd used to, before Gilderoy's career took off. Severus kept his face expressionless. "I’d have thought you'd meet met enough good-looking young men on your summer book tours to keep yourself occupied for some time."

Gilderoy laughed ruefully. "Not so much attractive men as middle-aged housewives, I'm afraid. And young girls. They _love_ my books, of course, and I don't blame them. But they're hardly my cuppa."

Severus looked Gilderoy up and down, appraising him openly. He thought about how Gilderoy would look sprawled naked on Severus' bed, writhing underneath Severus. Kneeling in front of Severus, his head bobbing up and down. Severus felt his cock stir with interest.

"As you like, then. I think I might have some time on Sunday evening after dinner."

Gilderoy smiled, and Severus found himself smiling back. He supposed he wouldn't mind helping to keep Gilderoy entertained. But Gilderoy would find that things were a bit different, nowadays. He was going to ride Gilderoy so hard and so long that he'd be feeling it in class, Monday morning.

******************************

Head bent over the essays he was marking, Severus was desperate for a distraction. He wasn't sure what he'd been thinking, to assign twelve inches on compulsion potions to the fifth years last week.

He should have learned by now that while assigning difficult essays created a satisfying expression of dismay on the faces of those students who loved to slack off, it was still a fleeting pleasure compared to the drudgery of actually marking the damned things afterwards. Surely hell would consist only of a room with an enormous stack of essays to mark, charmed so that as you finished each one, a fresh one appeared at the top of the stack. 

Gilderoy's head, peeking around the door, was therefore quite welcome.

"Marking on a Saturday evening? All work and no play, you know. Why don't you put those aside for the evening?"

"What did you have in mind?" Gilderoy usually had very good scotch in his rooms, so Severus was of a mind to go there instead of his own quarters, for a change. Maybe he'd be able to face the rest of the essays after a couple of drinks and a quick blow job.

"I wanted to check out a new pub I've heard about off Diagon, called 'Wicked Wands.' Want to come with me?"

Severus wrinkled his long nose. "I think I saw an advert for it, too. It looked like it was really just for gay wizards, though."

Gilderoy's blue eyes went wide. "Well, er, yes."

Severus was never sure whether Gilderoy was being willfully obtuse or really _was_ that stupid, when he got that expression.

"What makes you think I'd _want_ to go to a gay bar, anyway? And what if someone _**saw**_ me there?" He would have added _you **idiot**_ , but still hadn't quite given up on getting Gilderoy to simply shut up and go back to his rooms with Severus. Insults wouldn't result in a blow job, after all.

"Well, anyone who saw _us_ there would be gay himself, no? And anyway, what's wrong with someone seeing us there?" 

Gilderoy really _was_ that dim, it seemed. There were so many false assumptions in that statement that Severus almost didn't know where to start. And the lack of any concern about discretion was appalling. 

"You're the best judge of your own reputation, of course. You certainly seem to have shown a certain taste for publicity, so perhaps the prospect of yet another mention in the gossip columns doesn't bother you. But _I_ do _not_ care to be seen in a gay pub." He shifted his tone from one of disdain, to soften it a bit. "In spite of how things may appear, you must have known that I'm _not_ gay, after all."

Gilderoy's expression changed, and he seemed to be struggling with himself for a moment. He glanced sideways and down at the floor, and then looked up meet Severus' eyes again with an expressionless face.

"No, I hadn't realized." He paused for a second, and then continued, his tone a bit more tentative. "Severus, be serious for a moment . . . how many women have you been involved with since you were in school?" He seemed to want to make some sort of point. 

"That's none of your business." He used his coldest tone. A few occasions with shared drinks and a quick tumble didn't entitle Gilderoy to pry; and he had no intention of sharing his personal history with anyone, let alone someone this stupid. 

"Look here, you were really young when you fancied Evans and then I know you liked Regulus Black and there was me, and after that . . . " Gilderoy hesitated, fumbling a bit with what to say next. "I'm just saying that you might want to be honest with yourself, old man. And no harm with going somewhere where you might meet someone new, you know."

He felt his hands clenching into fists, and fought the urge to punch Gilderoy right on that handsome nose. A _Reducto_ shaped itself on his tongue, and he forced himself to use simple insults, instead. No, not insults. Truths.

"No doubt a writer of _**fiction**_ like yourself finds it easy to reshape the facts into something entirely false." Gilderoy's eyes narrowed and he opened his mouth to respond, but Severus cut him off first. "Only an idiot could have mistaken opportunity and propinquity for sexual preference. Why did you think that I _always_ top, eh? I am **not** gay, and your amateur attempts at psychoanalysis are as pathetic as your lies about banishing banshees and wandering with werewolves."

Gilderoy made a choking noise, but Severus continued on, overriding anything he might try to interject. "No one of any sense takes those books of yours seriously, you know. They're all a tissue of lies, and the only surprise there is that you are able to do enough serious research about dark creatures to get the details right. It has to all be taken out of a book, because we both know you're far too cowardly to get within twenty feet of a werewolf, after all." 

The blue eyes narrowed, and rage distorted Gilderoy's handsome features. "Is that so? Well, I doubt very much that you can prove those astonishing assertions. No one would believe you, I'm sure. And none of that changes the fact that you _are_ gay, whether you admit it or not. You think my books are fiction? Well at least I'm honest about who I want in bed."

He seemed ready to go on in this vein, but Severus had heard quite enough. He touched his wand and cast a non-verbal _Silencio_.

"Get out of my office. We're done here. Go have your fun at _Wicked Wands_." He hit the last two words hard, conveying his contempt for Gilderoy and the whole idea.

Gilderoy opened his mouth again, but of course nothing came out. He pivoted and walked out, slamming Severus' office door behind him.

He stared at the door for a moment, and slowly forced his hands to unclench. His own breathing sounded labored and he could feel how his heart rate had accelerated during that little encounter. 

Severus turned back to look at the stack of essays. Before he could control the impulse, one hand came up and knocked the stack over, sending essays flying to the floor. He shoved his chair back and stalked over to the door in the corner that led to his own rooms. 

He needed a drink. There were certainly going to be no more blow jobs coming from _that_ quarter in future. So, he'd have to break out some of his own scotch and supply his own entertainment in future.

******************************

The ward sister glanced curiously at Severus, from her desk in the corner.

Time to get this over with if he was going to do it, or he'd be late for Christmas dinner at Hogwarts. He wasn't likely to have any time free after Christmas, either. Ever since Albus had extracted that loathsome promise to act as his executioner, Severus had been haunted by a sense that time was running out, and that his options were rapidly narrowing. He'd been meaning to do _something_ about Gilderoy for more than a year: it was time to wrap this up before whatever was going to happen . . . happened.

He reached down and shook Gilderoy by the shoulder, lightly.

Gilderoy's eyes opened. The shade of blue was as compelling as Severus had remembered.

"Hello. Do I know you?" Gilderoy sounded faintly curious.

"Yes, you do." Severus pulled out the vial from his cloak pocket. "I brought you something for Christmas."

Gilderoy nodded. Apparently presents from people he didn't really know aroused no alarms or hesitation. "Is it something you think I'd enjoy?"

"I think you'll find it useful, yes. I'm the Potions Master at Hogwarts, and I brewed this especially for you."

"I expect you're doing it because you liked my books," Gilderoy said, sounding pleased. Severus nodded slightly, and Gilderoy took the vial, uncorked it and swallowed it without hesitation.

The sister had pushed her chair back when she saw Severus hand the vial over, but didn't get across the ward before Gilderoy had swallowed the potion.

"What did you just give my patient?" She sounded angry.

"Something that will finally get him out of here." Severus' tone conveyed his opinion of a staff what would warehouse patients for years on end, without doing research on how to fix them. "His memories can never be completely restored, but I found a potion that would make it possible for him to remember everything from this point on, so he can make a fresh start. And dispense with your kind care." He didn't try to suppress the sneer.

Gilderoy looked from Severus to the nurse, and back. "Was there something wrong with me? This is . . . St. Mungo's?"

"It is," she answered before Severus could respond. "And now you should lie down again, and your visitor needs to leave."

"No, that was only part of my gift for Professor Lockhart," Severus cut in. "Now that he can retain what he's seen, I have some memories to share with him." He put his satchel on the bedside table, and opened it to pull out the Pensieve he'd borrowed from Albus. "Sharing my memories will do him no harm, as you know."

The sister looked angry, but made no protest. "I'm just going to see if Healer Strout is available to examine what you've done," she said. She bustled off, her robes rustling with annoyance. Given the holiday, Severus expected it would be a while before she found a Healer free to come up to the ward.

"Here, let me show you some things." Gilderoy looked up at him expectantly, and Severus quickly put his wand to his forehead, to pull out the memories he'd decided to share. He had to show Gilderoy how to enter the Pensieve to view them.

There was no need to share the fact that they'd been . . . ever had sex, Severus thought. He wasn't interested in anything like that, nowadays, and he hardly had the time. But he'd given Gilderoy a collage of memories from their years at school and up through their early thirties:

  * Gilderoy doing the commentary at a Quidditch game during his sixth year, his cheeks flushed by the stiff breeze. Gilderoy sitting in the Slytherin common room during his fourth year, his head bent over an essay he was writing. The long, blond hair fell over one shoulder to brush the tabletop. 
  * Gilderoy at Christmas dinner during his fourth (and Severus' third) year; he'd never explained why he rarely went home for Christmas holidays, and Severus hadn't asked that year, so pleased to be able to stay at school because his father was in hospital. 
  * Severus tutoring Gilderoy before his Potions O.W.L., going over the theory behind the Draught of Peace, over and over. Gilderoy was horrid at Potions, and that had never changed.
  * Gilderoy at a book signing, held when his second book came out. Severus had been shopping in Diagon that afternoon and had seen the sign outside Flourish and Blotts. He hadn't seen Gilderoy in almost two years at that point and had ducked in for a few minutes to stand in a darkened corner, watching while Gilderoy was surrounded by adoring middle-aged witches.
  * Gilderoy's face looked up at him from the advert in the _Prophet_. The picture of the book cover for _Travels with Trolls_ was smaller than the photo of Gilderoy, who winked at him fetchingly.
  * Gilderoy at the Hogwarts high table, being introduced as this year's Defense Against the Dark Arts Master by Albus.



In the ward at St. Mungo's, Gilderoy kept his head plunged into the Pensieve for more than twenty minutes. Severus conjured a quick _Tempus_ , wondering how much longer this would take. His stomach rumbled.

Finally, Gilderoy pulled his head up out of the Pensieve, and Severus quickly reclaimed his memories before wrapping up the Pensieve and packing it away again. 

Gilderoy eyed him. He already looked less trusting. "That was . . . me? Those were true memories?"

Severus nodded curtly. "You'd know if they were false. Falsified memories are cloudy."

Gilderoy's forehead wrinkled. "Why did you do this? Why show me these?"

Severus wasn't quite sure why he'd picked those particular memories either. But he'd wanted to give Gilderoy something to go on with. Somewhere to start, in terms of rebuilding a personal history.

"I suppose . . . you were a loose end that wanted wrapping up." That wouldn't make sense to Gilderoy, of course. But it didn't matter. 

He was done here. And he wanted his supper. "Happy Christmas." Severus turned and walked to the end of the ward. 

Behind him, he heard the sister come in the door at the other end of the ward, with a Healer in tow. They were talking rapidly.

"I say," Gilderoy said to her. "Can you please get me my robes? I'd like to get out of these pyjamas. Do you have any . . . ."

The door fell shut behind Severus, cutting off Gilderoy's voice. He nodded to himself: that had needed to be taken care of. Pulling his hood up over his hair, Severus retraced his steps back to the floo.


End file.
